My FamilyIn my family it’s natural to find someone you love and marry them simply because you're in love and want to spend the rest of your life together. Making a commitment to love each other no matter the circumstances can be difficult and yes it will take two people who want the same things in life to make it work. It's frown upon in my family to have children out of wedlock. Believe me, I know in this day we see it more and more, but that is a traditional aspect in my family that I enjoy. For me it gives me a sense of family.
Her FamilyThey don't typically get married. Though her grandparents were married and actually had 16 children together, it’s not frowned upon if one were to not get married. Her parents, in particular, were never married. Let me rephrase that, it's not frown upon if they don't have the paper work to prove they are married. They will often live with someone for long period of time (say even 10 years) and even have children with them, but never marry, although everyone will consider them married. However, we have noticed some eventually leave the relationship after sometime. To put this in a simple way they just don't really care to much about actually getting married to someone, I think some would say the paper work is actually too much of a hassle especially if they aren't sure they will spend the rest of their life with them. Don’t get me wrong there are some in her family that seem to be committed to each other, but there are some exceptions
Our Family TogetherMy wife was not particularly into the idea of getting married. In some ways surprised me because I didn’t understand why someone would not want to get married, coming from my background. We definitely had some interesting conversations around why people get married and why it important to me and not to her. Not to go into full detail regarding her thoughts around marriage, but in short many people in her family have gotten married to come to the United States. Her whole concept of marriage was flawed by marriage being a means to of entry. Whereas for me, it’s a means to expanding your life and family with someone you love. Either way after consideration on both parts, we decided that marriage was the right path for us. It signified our love in a different light and gave our families an opportunity to experience our love. For both of our family’s gay/lesbian marriage has never been seen. We didn't do it for them; we did because we knew that for our family it would be important to show our commitment to our relationship and our love that will continue to grow.
So Why Did We Get Married?
1. We fell madly in love and wanted to strengthen our bond with an everlasting commitment.
2. For the family that we are creating it’s a foundation and place to lay down roots for generations after to look back on.
3. It's our life and it’s our relationship, it’s not anyone's place to say whether or not it makes sense in this world to marry.
4. We wanted a unity for our children that brings two loving parents together that hopefully they will be able to embrace in their future
5. The love we share is indescribable. We have no more words to explain it. We have no more ways to show it, but by doing what feels natural to us and that was to seal our love with a KISS.